TW: Milly’s Story contains Coercive Behaviour
Aiden screamed, announcing his presence in the world. Liberated from the womb, Aiden expressed joy at the newfound freedom. He stretched, wriggled fingers, and curled toes. Two days after his birth, Milly pondered the mischief her son might embark upon as he developed and grew. A restless nature brought a greedy suckling motion when he latched to her breast. Aiden was quiet when he slept but cooed and gurgled with consistent curiosity. Forest green eyes searched the room, crying if no one was in his view. The need for attention was exhausting. Aiden wanted at least one person with him always.
Where this twin set differed more than her first was the bond between the twins. James and Selena were inseparable. Aiden seemed unfazed by the weeks separated from his sister. Nadia was under observation. She spent the initial period of her life on a ventilator. The wires and tubes dwarfed the tiny body further. The weight of blame rested as a millstone around her neck. Had Milly not waited so long before going to the hospital, had she ignored Hunter? If she had followed her instincts, would Nadia have come home? Instead, it seemed to Milly weeks passed with minimal improvement in her condition. She watched Aiden reach each new milestone. His toothless grin upon seeing her and the frustration of being unable to lift his head or rollover.
The praise Hunter lavished on his sons made Milly sick. Aiden could stick his hand in the dirty nappy, and Hunter would say the boy was curious. Selena had done the same at his age and was dirty, a vile creature Milly needed to teach appropriate manners. Hunter restricted hospital visits. He asserted that their three healthy children were well-cared for at home. The infrequent visits, brought Milly further discomfort. She detested the judgmental glances from the nurses, as if she were an unfit mother. The feeling intensified as the collection service awaited her expressed breast milk. The process did not hurt. There was some tingling and discomfort as the device suckled like a baby. The pain was mental. Hunter resented her for giving away the milk for Nadia, believing it denied Aiden the best start in life. Why feed a sickly child who would drain their energy and resources?
Milly wished Nadia had taken to the breast as the others had, but her daughter refused. She seemed unable to latch to the nipple or suckle the bottle. They inserted a tube via the nose or mouth, sending the milk to Nadia’s stomach. Gavage feeding was a clinical and invasive approach for a small person. She longed to hold her daughter without the attachments and to hear her cry, gurgle and coo. To watch her lift her head, roll onto her back or grab her sibling’s fingers. The nurses assured her these milestones would come. Milly buried her head in Aiden’s stomach, a sweet, powdery-smelling baby. She could not bear to stare into the empty crib where Nadia should lay.
Hunter and Aiden: https://www.patreon.com/posts/morning-baby-80855264
By the Grace of Sim Gods 